Massacre

When i was 8 or 9 years old, a book about the Holocaust fell into my hands.
i read it from cover to cover. i couldn't put it aside.
i went back to the library and borrowed another book about the Holocaust.
i read it through  without putting it aside. This repeated over and over again. When i finished the "light" books (the ones that children "could handle" ), i went on and took off the shelf  books about the Holocaust that were written for adults.  At that time you couldn't borrow more than one book at a time, so i visited the library every few days.
The librarian called my mother and expressed her concern.  "Mama", i said to my mother when she shared the librarian's concern "this is the least i can do! i need to know what happened there ! i need to feel it !".
i did not stop until i read e v e r y   s i n g l e  b o o k  the library had about the Holocaust.

Now a similar thing happens to me about Veganism.
It might  look like an obsession. i need to watch the movies. i need to read about it. i need to feel what the animals might feel; or at least get close to what it might be. 
i need to KNOW. Once the gate of awareness has opened i cannot go back to sleep. i should not go back to sleep.